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by Pam Baldwin

Often divorcees find themselves wanting a relationship, but not knowing where to look. They might feel out of practice if it’s been years since they were single. They might not know how or where to meet people. I’ve heard divorcees make all kinds of excuses about why they “can’t” date.

Usually what this boils down to is plain old insecurity. Getting back into dating after a divorce can be anxiety-inducing because you’ve been burned before. It’s probably left you feeling uncertain about your ability to make a new relationship work.

While this is a normal feeling to have, don’t let it get the best of you! It’s perfectly fine to feel nervous, but it is not okay to let your nerves get the best of you! Remember that everybody is a little nervous about going on a first date with someone new, so you’re not alone.

Also, remember that there is a huge difference between not being emotionally ready to date and being anxious about it. Often I hear recently divorced people say that getting back into dating after a divorce is too hard. Sometimes they say they’re not ready. Granted, this can be a legitimate feeling, but often it seems like an excuse because they’re feeling insecure. Don’t fall into that mindset!

Another excuse I often hear is that people don’t know where to go to meet potential partners. Sometimes they feel like they’re too old for the bar scene, and worry that everybody in their social circle is already taken. However, the good news is that there are ways around this!

Thankfully, there are alternatives to this. One possible solution is using an online dating web site. Lots of people are doing it, because it’s a fast and easy way to connect with people from all over your city – or even all over the world.

There are a number of quality web sites out there, such as match.com. It’s really easy to get set up; all you do is fill out a profile, upload a photograph or two, and then you’re free to browse others’ profiles and contact anyone of interest. You have nothing to lose by trying it, and everything to gain!

Starting to date after your divorce doesn’t need to be a horrifying, traumatic ordeal. It should be a time of excitement and anticipation; you have an opportunity to start anew. Embrace the experience, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, and most importantly of all, have fun!

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