Flirting Skills

Archive for March, 2007

Everybody knows how to flirt. This trait is inherent in the human psyche, just as flying is to birds. Most people, who look for ways to learn how to flirt, have not let themselves go. When you need to attract a person, you usually concentrate on it so hard that you take all the fun out of it.

You Don’t Need To Learn To Flirt – Only Discover It within Yourself

The only way to learn flirting is to let yourself go. Have fun, real fun – enjoy conversing with your friends, complement your friends, make them laugh and you will see a brand new world unfolding within you. The more you relax, the better you will feel and the easier it would be for you to flirt.

This is why flirting and alcohol usually go hand in hand. It is not because alcohol makes people lecherous. No, rather, it is because it releases all inhibitions and makes a person free to be himself or herself. This is actually the only thing needed to be a good flirt – be yourself. As long as we try to be someone else, we cannot be good flirts.

Another very important thing attached to flirting is that though it definitely indicates sexual attraction, it does not point at wanting to have sex. While the first point enhances the experiences, any sexual innuendos actually kill the feel-good factor. This is why flirting is synonymous with fun; because it complements without any expectation in return. When you flirt, you are actually saying, ‘You look good and I love to be with and around you’.

You will be surprised to know that such a line makes both men and women blush and feel great at the same time. Though men are tough on the outside, a complement such as this would melt them. In fact, it is always easier for a woman to flirt because men feel it is their prerogative to pay the first complement – and they are immensely pleased when a woman makes the first move.

Hence, to be an accomplished flirt you do not need special techniques or crash courses. All you need is to let your hair down and be yourself. When you do so, you let yourself go without thinking of how you will be judged and that liberates you so that you can feel the magic within yourself. You are special, and as long as you believe that, you can be a wonderful flirt because you can appreciate others in the same way.

You might not have an entire evening to flirt with someone, but you still want to be able to convey an interest in attractive people you meet casually. Fast seduction can still be effective without hitting on someone too hard, or using horribly cheesy pick-up lines. Avoid being parodied in the sequel to A Night at the Roxbury and follow these tips for successful fast seduction encounters.

Be Natural

Don’t sit around and think of things to say to people you find attractive, live in the moment when you meet people. If you sound rehearsed your intentions will be misconstrued and your shots at fast seduction will produce a laugh in your face instead of a new connection. Speak to people as individuals. Don’t have a list of preloaded questions ready to fire off. Use visual cues, like clothing and food, to initiate personalized interactions and ignite fast seduction. Someone will want to know that they ignited a spark personally.

Use Humor

A great way to get someone to open up to you quickly is to use humor. Make a witty remark about something within sight of you both, or about an event you’re both attending. Comic relief is always welcome, and making someone smile creates an instant connection. Once you’ve made someone smile or laugh you’ve opened up a door and employing faster seduction will feel more natural to you both.

Be Nice

This may sound over-simplified, but by simply being nice to and around someone you’d be surprised how well that speaks for you. If someone sees you being extremely courteous to others, or you find a situation to extend an act of kindness to them, you will be in their good graces. Small things speak volumes – hold open doors for people, or excuse yourself if you accidentally bump into someone. Fast seduction is most likely to happen with people we think are generous.

Go Out of Your Way

You can be natural, nice and funny, but if you don’t make a point to approach someone you find attractive, fast seduction is absolutely impossible. It’s a huge compliment to someone when another person goes out of their way to create an interaction. Maybe you’ve smiled at someone from across the room. Give them a few minutes and plant yourself closer to them. Say hello and introduce yourself. Ask them if they’re having a good time; fast seduction also involves fast movement.

Flirting can be extremely enjoyable to people who are single or married. For many, flirting is just a harmless pastime; for others, flirting could be read as a blatant betrayal of marital vows. What is flirting? Is it immoral? Can it be considered as plain fun?

The Answers Are Within You

Flirting per se is a harmless way of attracting the opposite sex. It brings happiness and adds a little spice to life. Mind you, flirting does not by default end up in sex. The definition of flirting puts it in the parameters of the road to travel and not the destination. This is why most people find flirting extremely exciting – just like foreplay.

Though the definition of flirting is different for different groups of people, i.e. married people, single, gays, lesbians, divorced, separated, etc. there are a few basic rules that have to be included in whatever circumstances available.

1. Flirting should never be vulgar or it ceases to be enjoyable as it cheapens both the person who initiates and the person targeted

2. As per the definition of flirting, seduction should be subtle and enjoyable. If it is too strong, it becomes a pick-up method, and if it too light, you lose interest

3. Flirting usually happens at parties where alcohol is served and consumed. This makes the actions reckless and carefree, which adds to the heady feeling that flirting gives. Often, the actual enjoyment comes from behaving recklessly, from letting yourself go and from allowing yourself to have fun.

4. Flirting can happen anywhere – at the workplace, at college, at the hospital, and school, etc. The definition of flirting states that this is a method of subtle seduction – hence, it can take place any place where a minimum of two people exist.

5. There is another important part of the definition of flirting, i.e. it is mostly a harmless pastime and rarely develops into a full-fledged affair. Flirting is synonymous with fun; it rarely goes beyond because all the fun is in the preliminary stages. It is lovely to feel wanted – it makes you feel good about yourself and usually you want that feeling to last forever.

Overall, flirting is identified with fun and frolic. There is no age limit to flirting – you could be 16 years old or 61 – the fun is not limited to age. As long as it is played by the rules, flirting can add spice to anyone’s life.